Counting

You start thinking that the universe is against you, which of course makes no sense at all. Against you being happy. Having anything. Feeling normal. You start to think it doesn't matter what you do or don't do, the writing is on the wall, sky, cosmos- it knows you. No matter where you go, love ditches you without remorse. No matter what you try, there's the gloom from beneath the sleepless bed, it arises with you into the next dead morning. Meanwhile, others pray for another day, so add your shame to the list of ways you're not okay, no one at all is counting.