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Walter woke up angry, this topic had taken over his mind, yet he continued to consider the angles. Last night, deep in Scripture, Isaiah, Corinthians, also some Proverbs, he must have fallen into a sleep of frustration and unsettled longing. 

Walter didn't like that he doubted so much of what others believed. But, his doubts are refueled each day with new horrors in headlines, more reasons to painfully wonder why a Creator would allow such brutally random suffering of innocents, defying the notions of an ethical structure in control of the universe, and mocking the implied physics of moral justice. 

Walter sometimes even wonders if evil's instant face laughs at the nostalgic myth of God being in charge of good and bad. Where is this true, Walter asks? When the harsh, senseless chance of sudden and irreversible tragedy or loss falls upon the virtuous family, where are God's protective scales of fairness? 

Sure enough, bad happens to good for no reason every moment all around us, who's stopping this gruesome truth? Not your God, or mine, or anyone's ardent faith. 

Walter knew the ugly truth, was he supposed to pretend? The most learned scholars of God cannot agree on why evil wins by its own powers. No one knows why, obviously, it's a big mystery. 

Walter can imagine Satan saying "Ha! I could even concede your lame and hampered God, yet still have my wicked fun. You deny my arbitrary powers? Who saves my victims, each taken by surprise? Look around you, fool! Your God cannot even save its own myth from the dumpsters of history! It's a secular world now, at last!" 

Walter just wants all the voices to be quiet, he takes no sides. He'll sort it all out later, or maybe not until after seeing his new doctor, the fourth MD in as many years. Walter remains hopeful, but doesn't have much faith in why.